The Language Of Influence
Are your conversations difficult?
Imagine if you could predict how a member of your team, or a potential customer, will behave or you could improve the level of understanding between you and them. Would that be of value to you?
if you're finding your conversations difficult you could have different meta-programmes!
Well, one of the ways we can influence people's behaviour is by framing our communications to match their internal thinking styles.
In order to make sense of the world we need to 'delete, generalise or distort' much of the information that comes in through our visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, gustatory and olfactory senses.
It is said that more than 2 million bits of information comes into our neurology every second of the day and we delete most of it, as we are unable to cope with it all!
What we delete and what we pay most attention to can be thought of as our highest-level ways of absorbing things. These are patterns of thought and are known as 'meta-programmes' that we mainly developed in our imprint years between the ages of 0 and 7. We learn these from our families, teachers, our surroundings and the things that happen to us - its just plain experience.
Because they become ingrained into our thinking, we rarely notice them in ourselves or in others who share the same or similar patterns. For those whose patterns are different, however, we may regard them as a form of difference or even stubborn thinking and behaviour.
In the business world, some of the most common meta-programmes are to do with motivation, decision making, perception of relationship and thinking chunk size. By utilising your communications and asking specific questions around these meta-programmes enables you to have a greater level of influence on the people you interact with at work.
The following thinking patterns - or meta-programmes - are a brief guide of the way people at work think and behave:
Global or Specific: global thinkers only need to know the big picture whereas specific thinkers need to know the fine details of a job or project.
Judgers or Perceivers: judgers prefer to live and work in a planned and orderly way, whereas perceivers prefer to be flexible, spontaneous and seeking to experience life and work.
Sameness or Difference: sameness people often will notice the similarities before noticing any difference, and may discuss how things change slowly over time. Whereas people with a difference thought pattern notice things that are different or are mismatched, and they like change and variety.
Internal or External: internal people evaluate things on the basis of what they think is appropriate and provide their own motivation and make their own decisions. Whereas external people tell you that they know because other people or external resources tell them, as other sources provide the information which they accept.
Towards or Away From: towards people are motivated to have, achieve, get or attain and they talk about what they want, about people, things, situations they want to include. Whereas away from people are motivated to move away from, steer clear of or get rid of something.
I'm sure that as you've read through this very brief description that you either recognise yourselves, your work colleagues or your family and friends.
Want to find out more about meta-programmes and how you can change your own language to better communicate with those around you? You should call me on 0333 335 0421 and let's see how I can help you to be super successful in business, in life or in your chosen sport.
Until next time ...
Keith established BlueSpot Solutions to fulfil his highest intention of working with individuals and groups to empower them to ‘Be the Difference that Makes the Difference’.
Having 40 years’ experience in training and development working in engineering, F&HE colleges in England and Brunei (SE Asia) as well as private and public organisations in the UK, Brisbane and Miami.
Keith has a wealth of experience as a trainer, facilitator, coach and consultant. Keith is also a NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) Trainer, Master Practitioner and Master Coach.
Keith also works with sports people having completed trainings with Europe’s top golf coaches Karl Morris (Master Mind Factor Coach) and Brian Hemmings (PGA approved Golf Psychology Coach). Keith is the very first Master Mind Factor Coach in Northamptonshire.